An Update.


It’s been over three weeks since I’ve written a post on here, and the last one I wrote was on the day I left for London.

There’s a reason why I haven’t written. I’m actually not in London… I’m back in New York.

I’ll explain why, but I’m going to make it short because I’ve explained this story way too many times at this point, and reliving it isn’t fun….

So the very short version of the story is this. When I arrived to London, I was detained, questioned by the UK border agency, and nine hours after landing on English soil, was sent on a plane back to New York.

I’m not going to get into the reasons why it happened, because most of them are personal and that no one outside of my family and friends needs to know. But currently, I am banned from the country that my boyfriend lives in.

The optimist in me thinks that’s kinda badass. But the reality is that it sucks. Big time.

We are still plugging along with getting my Italian dual citizenship, which would overrule my UK ban, but now the cost is going to be much higher and the earliest it would be completed is around Christmas. So we’re talking to immigration lawyers and exploring other options too.

Thankfully, as soon as I knew what flight I was being sent back to New York on, Tom was able to buy a ticket on the same flight, so his dad and sister brought a bag of things for him and his passport to the airport, just in time to be able to catch it. If he wasn’t able to do that, I wouldn’t have been allowed to see him before departing.

Tom and I were escorted onto the British Airways plane first (…by three security guards), and the one fun part about this whole ordeal is once the stewards heard our story, they brought us lots of champagne after take-off. LOTS. The flight was actually enjoyable because of that… and because we were finally together.

Tom was able to get emergency leave from work and stayed with me for the week. We essentially shut ourselves off from the world, only telling a select few people what had happened and enjoying the time that we had together. The bright side of this whole mess is that he was able to meet some of my family members, and we could digest what had happened together and try to figure out what our next steps would be.


We’re lucky that our families are here to remind both of us every day that the best things in life are worth fighting for, and that once this is all over, we’ll have the strongest relationship that we could have ever imagined, and be the happiest people in the world!


So even though I’m not in London yet, I’ll be using this blog as a way to update everyone on the progress of getting me over there, and to let you all know what’s going on in my day-to-day life back in New York too.


We got to play with some puppies!


Look at that handsome guy.

Tom's attempt at eating like an American at Cheesecake  Factory

Tom’s attempt at eating like an American at Cheesecake Factory

I hope you keep reading! A little update on my life coming soon.



  1. Allie
    July 2, 2014 / 4:54 pm

    Randomly stumbled across your blog and I can’t help but laugh a little… I met my boyfriend, also Tom and English, while I was studying abroad my junior year of college… Long story short, I wasn’t really banned but I was kicked out of the UK in 2012, had to spend a year back home going back and forth and was once shortly detained but let through ..and eventually… I got my Italian citizenship! I started the process early and had it in a year and finally got back here August 2013. The similarities in our stories just made me laugh a bit! Too coincidental! Anyway, enjoy the British summer!

    • July 5, 2014 / 7:51 pm

      Allie that’s crazy! Are we soul sisters? Do people even say that anymore? lol. Wow. And I can hear your sarcasm about the British summer coming through the computer 🙂

  2. July 19, 2014 / 12:47 pm

    That’s pretty intense and pretty common – being refused entry to the UK. I almost thought I’d hit that stumbling block when I went through customs to meet my fiance in London (he’s Irish). The officer asked quite a lot of questions, but they never took me out the back. How I met Tiernan, what our plans were for England, etc. I would have had a few things to say about it if they had taken me out back – having worked in Immigration myself. Fortunately, I had a UK visa in my own right (not that it should matter – he’s Irish), and after calling a supervisor I was sent on my merry way. *sigh*

    • August 3, 2014 / 12:28 pm

      That’s interesting to hear Rachel. I completely understand them asking tons of questions– there’s a great reason for it! Just be thankful you didn’t get brought where I was, it was the scariest experience of my life so far. And yay for visas! They make things MUCH easier (although I still get detained each time I come back to London now..) Thanks for reading Rachel and I look forward to reading yours too 🙂

  3. Allie
    April 14, 2015 / 11:42 am

    This is incredibly traumatizing, I can’t even imagine! I met my australian boyfriend by chance in Greece where we spent no more than 48 hours together. My first trip to Australia was emotional enough without having any immigration issues. I can’t imagine.. But I found this post from the one about getting married so I’m glad it all worked out for you. It took 3 years for Pete to get a visa but he’s finally in America.. Glad we’ve both found a solution to our transcontinental relationships!

    • April 22, 2015 / 8:26 pm

      Three years?!? That’s just CRAZY! But yes I’m glad it worked out for both of us in the end. The best things in life are worth fighting for.

  4. Susanna
    September 22, 2016 / 4:25 am

    I just have to say that finding your blog and youtube channel is like a breath of fresh air. I am currently in the same situation when you first started out, except while also trying to figure out a life without a classic 9-5 job as a recent college graduate, I already have a boyfriend over in England (in Liverpool, but more or less the same general idea as London). We are both at the point now where the distance is hard, but getting a work visa for me is proving more difficult than I initially thought. It is refreshing to see your story and that it all ended up working out. I’m excited to keep following your adventures to see where they take you!

    • October 18, 2016 / 11:57 am

      Aw thank you Susanna, keep at it and just remember one day you’ll look back and all of this will be behind you, and you’ll be together 🙂

  5. Esteban Dido
    November 27, 2016 / 3:09 pm

    Hi Jess: This is my strongest fear about visiting the UK. I’m not going to meet anyone in special. No girlfriend, no boyfriend (even though I’m not gay), no anything. Well, maybe some twitter friends but that’s all.
    The problem is that here I’ve got nothing, no job, no money, the house will be mine in the future, but it’s my mom’s now, so I’m afraid the immingration officer can think my trip to England is to stay there (which is true BTW) & can reject me & send me back here.
    So I don’t know if it’s a good idea to spend a big part of my savings buying a ticket just to see my dreams destroyed by an officer. What do you think?.

    • November 28, 2016 / 2:26 pm

      Hi Esteban, I’d probably consult an immigration lawyer, they’ll be able to help you with this.

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